Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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