Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
