Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
