butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
