I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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