I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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