He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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