From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
