Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
