did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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