I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
