I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
