I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
