I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
