It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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