I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
