Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
