The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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