I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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