I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Randomize
