Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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