So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
