I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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