My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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