Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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