No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
why do cheetos always look like penises
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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