i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
