Your dad touched me again.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
