I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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