You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
