Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
