I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
