are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Randomize
