it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
