it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
