I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
