Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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