Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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