She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
This is classic penis vs brain.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize