I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
