i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
