I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
