I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
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