dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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