Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
