you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
