My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
