You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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