i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
