Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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