don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just had sex bonerless
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
