HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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