we have pet lesbian snakes
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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