I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
