In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
