then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
