Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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